This journal has fun memories. But these past few days have been pure torture to me as of late

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*sigh* I'm tired, I'm not sure what day it is, and everything seems to run together. My hair's growing again. Damn. Everyday I wonder why I am who I am, and why I can't have the freedom I so want.

Anyway, as I've said, these past few days have been torture for me. Starting with...Sunday night I think, I was supposed to be cleaning out my closet, but thanks to Dad and his interruptions he dragged me along....and so, we went to go get out Xmas tree and we decided to stopoff and get some cocoa. It was me, Ricky, Gammy, Mom and Dad. So as we were about to leave, Gammy asked my Mom if she wanted cocoa. As my Mom being a diabetic, she said "No thank you. I have coffee at home." So, Gammy got dramatic and Dad called her..."Bitch". It's true. I was so fucking angry at Dad. I could tell Mom was very hurt. Then Mom says "Did you call me what I think you called me?" And Dad just laughed jokingly. Then, Gammy asked me to go help her. Like nothing fucking happened. I stood with Mom. Then Gammy shut the door...and I could tell right away Mom was crying. Fuck. Why the fuck would Dad call her that? Anyway, they didn't speak to each other that night I don't think, but Mom was damn hurt. So then we're putting up the decos for the tree. Gammy, then Dad calls me to help out. I take 15 mins and stall trying to finish cleaning. Then Dad gets his attitude "Didn't you hear me calling you? Get your butt over there and help out" shit...so...meh, I did anyway. All my happiness was all fake.

There's something about the holidays that makes my parents so fucking moody, I hate it! ><

Oh well, I just hope January goes by fast, I fucking hate this shit and I really wanna go back to school!

*sighs* Merry Fucking Xmas

p.s. - Last night was more fun though. i'm guessing they made up and Dad took pics of the baby under his tree and gave me a few Xmas nuts. Meh...they were good though - walnuts and almonds, yum!